The Fall
by Nicciomimi96
Summary: Rin saw no way out, he couldn't run, the Vatican would kill him, he didn't want to be killed, not by someone else, no, he was going to die by his own hand. Please read the warnings before reading. Happy End.
1. Rin

Name?: The Fall

Summary?: Rin saw no way out, he couldn't run, the Vatican would kill him, he didn't want to be killed, not by someone else, no, he was going to die by his own hand.

Rating?: M

Pairings?: None but Yukio x Rin if you want to see it that way (not that I blame you XD)

Warning?: Attempted Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Coma, Bullying, Death Threats, Major Angst, Isolation, Loss of Friends, Life Support and Medical Tests (also tube down throat and removal scene), Needles, mention of Seizures, Happy Ending.

Nicciomimi96: Okay, I ship Yukio and Rin together but this isn't a shippy story, though it could be if you look at it that way but if you don't then there is pure brotherly fluff waiting to make up for my next story that I'm going to post for them, this is a sort of sorry in advance, I hope you like it! Note: This is still kind of dark and triggering for people, please read the warnings.

* * *

" _Son of Satan_?"

" _Demon_."

" _Why is he still alive_?"

" _He should have never been born_!"

" _He's dangerous_."

" _Why would they let him in that school, near children_?"

" _He's going to hurt someone eventually and then it will be too late_."

" _They should kill him now_."

" _He deserves to die_."

These were just a few comments that Rin had to put up with everyday since people found out about who he is, or rather what he is, of course he had expected something like this but that didn't mean that it still didn't hurt the same. Of course people would think him dangerous, they would want him dead, away from people so he couldn't hurt anyone and most days he could deal with this but it was days like today that he just couldn't force himself to smile or laugh it off like a joke.

Especially when it came to his classmates, he couldn't really call them friends any more, Konekomaru was too scared of him, Shima too bitter, Bon too angry, Shiemi too sad, Izumo too distant...but it seemed everyone thought the same thing.

' _Die_.'

He had expected Konekomaru, he was too scared of everything, Rin wondered why he wanted to be an exorcist at all because he sure as hell didn't have the nerves of one. He didn't speak to Rin, he shied away whenever he passed him, ran if he walked up to him, he shook just being in the same room as him but again Rin had expected this.

Shima he had had a bit of hope for, though thinking about it he shouldn't have, the pinkette had always followed Bon's logic, he didn't talk to him either, he glared, walked away and just generally ignored him unless Bon said something and then he joined in making sure to talk as loudly as possible so Rin would hear their biting words.

Bon...he hadn't know what to think, a small part of him had hoped that with the progress they had made that the older boy would be okay with it, well, not completely but look past it to see who Rin really was. Bon however, was the worst of them all, he shoved, he spat, he threw horrible words at him that haunted him in the night, he did everything possible to make Rin's life hell and secretly Rin thought he deserved it.

Shiemi was silent, every time she looked at Rin her eyes would tear up, she wouldn't say anything to him, she didn't sit next to him any more in classes, instead sitting next to Izumo, Rin was hurt the most by her reaction. He had saved her, he had hung out with her and become close friends but even she didn't like him any more.

Izumo, she was the one who had said to him that he wasn't that different, that many of the exorcists had demon blood in them but still ignored him, more than usual, she left him on his own after those words which had given him a little hope. She didn't look at him, well she did but it was always a disapproving look, something that grated on him, made him feel small, like he was insignificant.

However, through all this they still were fine with Yukio, Yukio who was his brother, his twin, who was also Satan's son, they respected him and didn't treat him any differently...why? was it because Yukio didn't have the flames? Yukio didn't have the demon traits? That Yukio, despite being a blood relative to Satan was still completely human?...he didn't get it...

One thing he had learned through this though was that hope sucked, it sucked away your life, that fleeting moment of pure good feeling would soon crush you into despair, it wasn't worth it, hope did nothing but hurt you. That was the way of life...well, the way of his life, it was just the way things had gone for him since he could remember, any tiny shred of hope would be pulled out from under him in a couple of days, weeks, months...it didn't matter how much time, it would all end the same way.

He was thinking all this as he sat in the cram school lesson, sitting on his own at the front of the class, Yukio giving a speech about weapon types, which types would be best for lower class demons, which ones for higher class, what to ingrain on the blades or guns to give the most effect when Bon put up his hand and asked, "What kind of symbols would be best to cut the son of Satan down?"

Yukio paused, looking at Bon with a shocked face, Rin wondered for a moment if Yukio was going to stick up for him but his brothers next words cut that hope, damn hope again, down, "The son of Satan is a high class demon, he won't be affected by a lot, you would need multiple symbols and passages on your weapon for it to work on him, the best material would probably be a blade made in holy fire, seeming as a sword is his weapon of choice yours would have to be too to go into battle with him because a gun while useful would be a hindrance once he got too close."

Rin sank low in his seat, even Yukio was against him, why was he still breathing? Why did he have to be born? Why did everything always have to happen to him? Would things be different if Yukio was the one with the demon powers? Would people accept him and not his brother? He was sure if it was the other way around he would stick up for Yukio not give his tormentors tips on how to kill him.

What kind of brother did that make Yukio? Not a good one. Well...his twin had his high points he guessed, he could never hate Yukio, it just wasn't in him to do it, he loved his twin too much...though he guessed it didn't go both ways. As he was thinking this he sighed and closed his eyes, what was he going to do? Everyone wanted him dead...even he was starting to come around to the idea.

Would things be better if he was dead? When he was dead...where would he go? Demons didn't go to heaven, would he just end up in Gehenna? He wondered...what would happen to him...maybe he would just find himself in blackness, a never ending expanse where he didn't even exist anymore...would he be happier?

" **Rin**!" Yukio shouted, Rin jumped and looked at his brother/teacher and saw those eyes looking at him with frustration and anger, he expected this look though, it was the only look Yukio had given him since everyone found out about him, he guessed it was just an excuse for Yukio to finally show his true feelings because of course it was Rin's fault their father died and they both wouldn't forget it.

"Yeah?" Rin asked, leaning forward and placing his chin on his hand, he hadn't been paying attention so he didn't know, not that he cared anymore, being an exorcist wasn't looking so good anymore, maybe he could just run away...though every time he thought that he remembered that the Vatican would hunt him down and kill him, he didn't want to be killed, not by anyone else but himself, he had decided that about a week ago.

"Please pay attention, this is important." Yukio said, the please was just put there for politeness, Rin knew his brother wouldn't use it otherwise, he was the polite one, the smart one, the kind one, Rin was the rude one, the dumb one, the violent one, that was how it had always been to everyone. Rin, when he had heard of this just made things worse by proving them right, like he always did.

"The mission we're going to go on will be your toughest one yet, it's going to be training of course, not a real mission but it will be the closest one to a mission you've had so far, you'll all be filling out these papers before we go, make sure to read them thoroughly, you won't be told what it entails until we reach our destination." Yukio said before handing out three pieces of paper to everyone, when Rin looked down at his own he raised an eyebrow.

''' ** _Training course for young exorcists: Mission 11_** '''

Mission 11? What kind of training...but when he looked the rest of the sheet it just covered the basic, 'if you get hurt or die on this mission no one can sue' and such, not very confidence building but Rin signed the sheets after glancing through everything, it wasn't like he cared anyway. When everyone had signed Yukio went round and picked their papers up and put them together with a clip before going back to the front of the class.

"Okay, now that's out of the way, I'll be seeing you tomorrow with the when and where so you can start getting ready, dismissed." Yukio said and stood before leaving the class, probably going to file the paperwork. Rin stayed in his seat as everyone left but not before Bon chose some parting words, coming over to him and leaning in close he whispered, "During this mission, I'm going to kill you and you know what? No one will care."

He left after that, Shima and Konekomaru following him. Rin couldn't allow that to happen, he wouldn't be killed by anyone, no one but himself...he had been planning something for a while now...it seemed full proof...maybe...maybe he could do it now. Get it over with as they say...yeah, he was sure everyone would be happier, they wouldn't have to worry about him anymore, he couldn't run away so this was his only option, no one would listen to anything he had to say anyway.

First though, he would say goodbye to his brother. It was the least he owed him for all those years growing up together and so he stood and walked out of the door, going down the hallway to the teachers lounge, he stopped at the door and knocked. Yukio was the one to answer and looked shocked to see him here before he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "What have you done now?"

"Nothing, just wanted to say thanks." Rin said, his words coming out a bit rushed, he wasn't exactly sure what he wanted to say but he hoped that Yukio would understand the meaning of his words, thanks for being there for me, thanks for all the times you helped me, thanks for putting up with me, thanks for not killing me, thanks for...everything...

Yukio looked up to him and shook his head before going to close the door, Rin watched and felt his heart hurt, he was trying to get across all these feelings and Yukio was shutting the door in his face but then again, what else did a demon deserve? Before Yukio closed the door Rin said one more thing, "Goodbye."

It was so final, once he said that it really hit him that he wouldn't see Yukio anymore, he wouldn't be breathing in fresh air, he wouldn't be able to feel the wind or rain or sun, he wouldn't see Kuro, talk to anyone, laugh, cry, get angry...he wouldn't have any of that anymore...but then again...was all that worth what was coming? Was it worth this life he lived?

Half of him was screaming yes, it was worth it, to talk to Yukio and Kuro, to make them smile and laugh and be silly, to have hugs and think of the future, to cook with Ukobach, to maybe one day get his friends back, to try new things he hasn't before. The other half was saying, no, the pain, the anger, the hurt, the tears, the blood he bled for these people only for them to turn their backs on him, to be eventually killed like an out of control animal needing to be put down...this half was stronger.

Yukio didn't say anything to that and finally shut the door, Rin stared at the ground, his tail limp and frowned, his eyes stung a little but he just took a deep breath and started walking, walking to the place he was sure to do it. He had been up there before, on top of the abandoned dormitory, it was high enough to kill, low enough that it wouldn't make much of a mess, he had thought about that you see, how much mess he could make for people even in death, he didn't want to so scoped out some areas and options but this one seemed the quickest.

There was only one step to this plan, fall, then it would be over, it would happen in seconds, he knew it would feel longer when he fell but it would be only a short time, he quickly left the cram school hallway with his key and straight into the dormitory. He made sure that Kuro wouldn't hear him, he didn't need his familiar to save him, he walked the walk of death, now he knew how it felt.

It felt final, it made relief go through him and yet also made him sad enough to weep, he didn't of course, he hadn't cried since his fathers death, he wouldn't cry at his own, no one would cry for him not even himself, he didn't deserve it. He made his way up to the roof, the wind moving his hair, soothing his eyes and he smiled when he saw the sun setting, it was beautiful.

The yellows, oranges and reds all melding together, the sky above it a dark blue, almost purple and the clouds fluffy and white...it was a perfect scene, he could even see some birds still flying about...the smile dropped. He looked to the edge of the roof and started walking, as he walked he remembered things, his childhood, his father, the priests, Yukio, the church...then he remembered the flames, his real father, his brother holding a gun at him...the exorcists, cram school, friends...hateful looks, painful words, the threats...

He stepped up onto the edge surrounding the roof, funny that it was for safety and he would use it as a ledge to stand on to end his life...did people think of these things when they built buildings? Maybe, maybe not, it didn't matter anymore, he didn't look down, scared that if he saw what was waiting he would back off and choose not to do this so instead he looked to the beautiful sky.

It was so lovely, so nice, so peaceful, it was then that he found himself taking a step forward, trying to be closer to the scene, before he knew it his foot was hanging over air...if he took the next step it would all be over...he thought about it, he thought about what would happen if he didn't do this, he thought about what would happen if he did and smiled.

He stepped off.

It was like flying for a moment, the air rushing around him, he closed his eyes before he saw the ground, not wanting to know how close or far he was, just wanting to feel...feel this wonderful free fall feeling...he wished he had wings so he could fly. He heard whistling and knew he must be falling pretty fast but didn't mind, he would get there when he got there, he just let himself feel...

" **RIN**!"

...

...

...

...

...wha?...

where?...

...who?

...

...

...

"Rin?" A voice came from next to him, wait...was he alive? The voice he had heard...it sounded like Yukio...there was a beeping coming from next to him and he felt like something was down his throat, though it wasn't choking him, how was he still alive? He was alive right? It was like he couldn't feel his body but also could...it was confusing...

"Why?" Yukio's voice came again and Rin listened, he heard Yukio scoff, "I know why...I just...didn't think it was that bad...well, I did but I thought you were okay...your words...your last words to me...thank you...goodbye...I should have known something was wrong...I just thought you were being your normal self but...when I think about it you hadn't been your normal self for a while before that had you?"

"Yukio?" Shiemi's voice came and Rin felt surprise but it vanished, she was here for Yukio not him, it was a surprise when she spoke again, her voice was tearful and he was shocked at her words, "Are you still talking to him? You know it's been six months...they say...he probably won't wake up but..."

"I'm not giving up on him." Yukio said harshly, Shiemi started to stutter and Yukio sighed before the sound of him getting up came from beside him and footsteps, "I know you don't mean it that way it's just...I can't give up on him, if our situation was the other way round he wouldn't give up on me, I love him, I've lost too many people, I didn't think I would count him as one...I never want to count him as one..."

"I know Yukio...will you at least eat something? You haven't been eating for a couple of weeks now, you need to have some strength for..." She trailed off and a hand went into his own, it felt familiar and he knew it was Yukio's, why Shiemi had stopped talking he didn't know but he tried to move his body, any little twitch he would be happy with even if he couldn't feel it himself.

Twitch.

His hand moved, it was small but effective as Yukio gasped, there was a silent moment and Rin was started to get feeling back, as if that one movement had restarted something, he tried to groan but ended up choking, he moved his hand up to his mouth. Yukio's hand suddenly stopped his own and a buzz came from beside him before Yukio spoke, "Nii-san, calm down, please, open your eyes, please open your eyes."

Yukio was begging, Rin tried to open his eyes but found them screwed shut from the choking, he wriggled and heard people come into the room, suddenly hands were on him pinning him down and a male voice asked, "Do you know if he's awake or seizing?"

"I don't know, I tried to get him to open his eyes but he didn't." Yukio said back sounding flustered, Rin tried to move but people held him down there was some talk that he missed for a moment before the tube was being gently removed from his throat, he felt it come up and out and gasped for breath before coughing. His head was stroked before he opened his eyes and looked into his brother's aquamarine's, those eyes brightened and a big smile came onto Yukio's face before his cried, "He's awake!"

Several happy faces swam around him and they all looked relived, it was strange, seeing people relieved that he was awake, alive even. He tried to sit up but was pushed down by a male doctor who had the most peculiar purple and orange eyes, when he spoke Rin remembered him as the man who had spoke before, "Don't try to get up yet Rin, just relax, can you follow my finger for me?"

The man put a finger in front of him and moved it up and down and side to side which Rin followed, the man then flashed a small flashlight in his eyes before sighing in relief, "Well, your fine, you gave us all quite a scare there, you've been in a coma for six months so your going to be weak for a while but I think your going to make a good recovery don't you?"

Rin didn't know what to say so he said nothing, he thought he was suppose to be dead...wasn't he? The doctor seemed to follow his thoughts and shared a look with Yukio before saying, "I'm going to leave for now, though we're going to keep an eye on you while you recover, you won't be leaving for a while so get comfortable."

The doctors and nurses left, leaving Rin alone with Yukio and Shiemi who stuttered something before leaving the room, it was dead quiet then, Yukio brushed some of his hair out of his face before sighing, "I...I know why you did it Nii-san, I know but...I just...I want to know...how long had you been thinking about it?...why did you kept it secret?...I want to know...please, just tell me everything...please..."

Rin looked to his twin, those eyes shining with tears and understanding, Rin thought for a moment that he was going to get angry but instead he felt guilt, it came at him in a wave and he closed his eyes, his voice rasped and cracked when he tried to speak, Yukio helped him take a drink from a plastic cup before gesturing him to try speaking again and so Rin did.

He told him everything.

From start to finish Yukio listened, he didn't say a word, he sat there with him, holding his hand as he spoke about what people had said to him, what he thought of himself, what he knew everyone else thought, how he had planned everything and from the first time he thought about ending it to the last. Then he got to his last day, the day he had finally broke and the words that did it, Yukio watched him, helping him drink when his voice cracked too much and by the end of it Yukio was watching him with sad eyes.

"You know...I was the one who found you, I saw you fall, I saw you hit the ground, I call the ambulance, I sat with you all these months...I thought about a lot of things and said a lot of things to you that I'm not sure if you heard or not..." Yukio told him, Rin listened to how Yukio's voice faltered and broke off as if it pained him to even think about it, "I told everyone what happened, I stayed with you, I didn't let them take you off life support when they wanted too because they didn't think you would wake up...I..."

Yukio was crying by now and Rin felt his own eyes sting at how much he had put his brother through, he sat up, not caring about how much pain it caused him and pulled Yukio into a hug, they stayed like that for a while, just holding each other. Yukio then pulled away and said, "I thought about what I would say to you when you woke up, I thought about how angry I would be, how I would shout and tell you how stupid it was but the more I thought about it the more I understood and now your awake I don't feel angry, I just feel relieved that your awake, that your here with me again...that I still have you."

Rin didn't know what to say, millions of things went through his head from apologies to shouting but just shook his head and smiled, he knew that Yukio cared for him now and maybe that was enough, even though his brother hadn't shown it when he had needed it the most. Rin layed down and curled up making sure not to mess with the drip still stuck in his hand, he looked at Yukio and said, "You know...I don't blame you...I used to before I woke up, I thought you hated me like everyone else but...you stayed with me, you kept me alive and didn't give up on me when everyone else did...you...still love me right?"

"Yes, of course." Yukio said, leaning forward to brush Rin's hair with his hand, Rin smiled and leaned into that hand, he remembered when Yukio did this when they were younger, he had always had a fascination with Rin's hair, pulling it and stoking it when he could. Rin sighed in relief, Yukio still loved him, had always loved him whether he showed it or not and Rin said, "Then that's enough for me."

Yukio smiled at him, his eyes warm and relieved, they stayed there in silence for a moment before Yukio spoke again, "I...I told the others what happened...they all reacted in their own way, Shiemi cried you know, she's been visiting you every week, she talked to you too, you missed her apologies, though she will probably tell you herself when she comes back."

Rin smiled and then frowned, he had thought no one would miss him, he had been in such a dark place that he couldn't see anything but hate around him, "I'm sorry." He said, before he even noticed the words coming out of his mouth but then continued talking, "I was in such a dark place...I couldn't see the people that cared...I didn't think anyone would miss me, I thought it would be easier for everyone if I was gone."

"I know." Yukio said, brushing his hair before leaning down and kissing his forehead, Rin felt his face flush at the gesture and looked down, Yukio hadn't been this affectionate with him since he found out he was a demon but it made his heart feel a little lighter, "Nii-san...you know...you know that things are going to be hard...some people...they won't like you for who you are, what you are but...I will always be here for you, I promise, I will stick up for you when you can't do it yourself and I will always be a person you can trust and lean on."

"Thank you Yukio, for everything." Rin said, he closed his eyes and yawned, Yukio chuckled and Rin smiled, he knew Yukio would be there for him, he knew Yukio loved him, he knew now. In a way he was glad things had gotten so bad because now he knew things he had never thought to be true before and he knew things would still be hard but with Yukio by his side, he would get through it.

His brother loved him and yeah, that was enough.

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Nicciomimi96: And done! Please don't forget to review, I would love to know what you think! Love you guys, thanks for reading and making it to the end xxx


	2. Yukio

Name?: The Fall

Summary?: Rin saw no way out, he couldn't run, the Vatican would kill him, he didn't want to be killed, not by someone else, no, he was going to die by his own hand.

Rating?: M

Pairings?: None but Yukio x Rin if you want to see it that way (not that I blame you XD)

Warning?: Attempted Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Coma, Bullying, Death Threats, Major Angst, Isolation, Loss of Friends, Life Support and Medical Tests (also tube down throat and removal scene), Needles, mention of Seizures, Happy Ending, Swearing.

Nicciomimi96: Okay, I was asked if I was going to do this in a review and I replied saying yes! This is now going to start getting different peoples POV's about what happened with Rin, I hope that I can give you some good chapters, okay, here we go!

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" _That brother of yours_!"

" _Fucking Demon_."

" _Don't be surprised when he's killed_."

" _Only you should have been born_."

" _He's dangerous, swinging his sword and flames around like that_."

" _Why is he even a student here_?"

" _He's going to hurt someone_! _Then what will you do_?"

" _The Vatican should have killed him the moment they knew about him_."

" _He deserves to die_."

Yukio had to listen to these comments everyday since Rin let people find out what he is, or rather who he is, of course Yukio expected this but it still made him angry with Rin, he could have just let the exorcists handle it but no, he had to jump in and put his life in danger by letting out his flames and then wonder why people turned against him and thought he is the danger. Of course they were going to think that, they had learned their whole lives that Satan is evil, Satan has blue flames meaning anyone with blue flames is evil, he should have known that.

Of course Yukio wasn't blind to Rin's feelings, he knew he was upset, down, looking lost sometimes and he knew the cause, it wasn't the teachers, the Vatican, the exorcists, anything like that, it was his friends reactions...well, could they be called his friends anymore?

Konekomaru was scared, that was his reason, Yukio saw him shooting terrified looks to Rin during classes, it made Yukio sad, sad to see that someone who was usually so nice to his twin become scared to even be in the same room as Rin. Of course Yukio knew why, he could see it in Konekomaru's eyes, it was the flames, the blue flames from that night that still haunted the young boy...if only he could do something to help.

Shima was torn, Yukio could see that, he wanted to be Rin's friend as he had been before but also angry that Rin had lied, of course Bon didn't help the issue, Shima followed Bon, probably would follow him to the end of Assiah. Yukio was stumped with the pinkette, if only he wouldn't follow Bon and just do what he wanted to do, which was probably shout at Rin some before sitting with him and being his friend again.

Bon...he...Yukio didn't know what to feel besides anger, Bon was bullying Rin the most, he hadn't seen anything being done physically but he had a feeling there was, he had also heard what Bon had been saying, he didn't exactly hide it, even getting others to join in. Yukio didn't know what to do, in the classroom he could say nothing, he was their teacher but outside he didn't see it so couldn't do anything about it.

Shiemi was too upset to be near Rin for long, she didn't know what to say, she actually came to Yukio for advice and to talk sometimes about Rin because she didn't know how to make things better and that made her guilty. Yukio had tried to tell her that talking to Rin was enough but she still kept he distance, Yukio couldn't blame her for anything, she wanted to help after all but felt powerless, just like him.

Izumo was a mystery to him, he knew she said something to Rin to brighten him up for a couple of days but she stayed away afterwards...he didn't know what to think but he was glad for those few days, it was like he had his brother back. However...it didn't last. Yukio wasn't sure why Izumo didn't continue talking to his brother but he guessed it was just the way she was which was a shame she would have been a good friend to have.

However, though all this everyone was still okay with him...he wondered why...they were brothers, twins and shared the same blood, he was Satan's son too, was it because he was their teacher? Was it because he was still mainly human? Was it because he didn't have the blue flames? If he had been the same as Rin...would they have all turned on him as well? It was too confusing to think about...the main question that he wanted to ask them though was ' _why_?'.

Yukio had tried to learn a lot in his life, especially when it came to Rin, he had tried to learn all his tells, his faults, his strengths and weaknesses but even he didn't know how to deal with this slump Rin was in, it confused and frustrated him to no end. He wondered if maybe he was one of the causes, he hadn't exactly talked to Rin about what was happening, he had tried to distract his brother with studies but he wasn't sure if that was the right way to go.

He was thinking all this as he stood in front of the class, mindlessly talking about weapon types, he knew everything off by heart so I didn't need to pay much attention and stared at Rin, his eyes were glazed as if he were in a world of his own. Yukio wondered what was going through his head, he had just stopped saying what to ingrain on the weapons to give most effect when Bon raised his hand, Yukio nodded at him for him to speak and he said, "What kind of symbols would be the best to cut the son of Satan down?"

Yukio paused, he was shocked, what should he do? He didn't know what to do...he could stand up for Rin but then he would be ignoring his duty as a teacher, once again he was torn but he had to push his personal feelings aside for the class right? and it wasn't like he was going to let them use the information so he replied, "The son of Satan is a high class demon, he won't be affected by a lot, you would need multiple symbols and passages on your weapon for it to work on him, the best material would probably be a blade made in holy fire, seeming as a sword is his weapon of choice yours would have to be too to go into battle with him because a gun while useful would be a hindrance once he got too close."

Once he was finished he knew he shouldn't have said it, Rin sank low in his seat and had a crushed expression, he wished he could tell him that he wouldn't let them use the information against him, that he would protect him but he couldn't let his emotions out in front of the class so he continued on with his lecture. As they had covered the basics he went through the more tricky subjects such as weilding the weapon correctly and which bullets you could use in a gun.

"You can use many different bullets, holy water bullets are the most effective against lower class demons, they will exorcise them straight away, for higher class demons you would need more complex bullets, such as bullets made with certain materials and symbols engrained onto them for the maximum effect, such as for a ghoul you would need..." He continued but lost himself in his thoughts, he was looking at Rin whose expression seemed to get darker and darker with every passing moment.

He wanted to know what his brother was thinking but shook his head and finished his speech, he opened the draw of his desk and got out the forms of consent that he had been told to give everyone before they went on this trip. The trip was simple, it would be a training mission, he was confident that they could all pass but only time would tell, "You all need to fill out these consent forms, its the usual but I want you to look them over thoroughly before signing them, it is important to know everything your-"

His temper snapped a bit when he noticed Rin still wasn't paying attention, " **Rin**!" Rin jumped and looked to him and Yukio felt his frustration and anger rise, he just wished his brother would pay attention, he had to know these things, he was missing out on vital information that may one day save his life. Yukio knew he wouldn't always be around to protect his brother and just wished for once that Rin would take things seriously.

"Yeah?" Rin asked, leaning forward on his desk and propping his chin on his hand, Yukio felt his anger rise but took a calming breath, it would do no good to start shouting, he had to be professional, this was what it means to be a teacher. He had to keep his cool, Bon tisked and Yukio knew the other boy was just as angry but probably for other reasons, once his temper had cooled a bit Yukio relaxed.

"Please pay attention, this is important." He said, the please was for politeness of course, he really just wanted to strangle his brother but knew it would make things worse so he looked around the room at everyone else, they were watching his brother, Yukio didn't like their expressions especially of Bon, Shima and Konekomaru so he cleared his throat to get their attention, which worked, he was glad for this, then they wouldn't be looking at Rin so...

"The mission we're going to go on will be your toughest one yet, it's going to be training of course, not a real mission but it will be the closest one to a mission you've had so far, you'll all be filling out these papers before we go, make sure to read them thoroughly, you won't be told what it entails until we reach our destination." Yukio said taking himself out of his thoughts and began walking round the classroom handing out the pieces of paper, three for each, he didn't look at Rin as he handed his brother his own, knowing if he did his anger would rise again.

Yukio went back to the front of the class and sat behind his desk, he pulled out some sheets of paper with the names of all those in his class, today's performance was suppose to be put down...Bon did well, again he was a great student even asking questions, though not one he liked, Shima was quiet but wrote everything down, Konekomaru was distracted but that was to be expected and Izumo and Shiemi were as usual the perfect students, when he got to Rin's name he frowned...shaking his head he stood noting that they all had finished signing and collected the papers from their tables before going back to his desk and stapling them together.

"Okay, now that's out of the way, I'll be seeing you tomorrow with the when and where so you can start getting ready, dismissed." Yukio stood before leaving the class, he needed to get these filed straight away, he walked down the long corridor before walking into the teachers lounge, several of the other professors were sitting down on the sofa sipping tea or coffee, he went straight to the desk and set the papers down.

The other teachers nodded to him and he set about filing the papers, he checked all the places had been signed and sighed in relief that they all agreed, he was surprised especially at his brothers signature, some of the stuff that was on the form he thought Rin wouldn't agree with but then again he wasn't sure his brother had read it all through. Putting the papers in their appropriate folder he then pulled out his sheets and signed.

It was mandatory after all that the teachers also sign when the students had, he was brought away from his thoughts by a knock on the door, the other teachers made no move to stand so he sighed and stood from the desk. Walking over to the door he opened it to see Rin standing there shuffling his feet and Yukio felt his frustration rise again and pinched the bridge of his nose, "What have you done now?"

"Nothing, just wanted to say thanks." Rin said, his words coming out a bit rushed, Yukio stared at him for a moment, not sure what to think, why was he saying thanks? What for? He hadn't done anything recently to be thanked for...he pushed the thoughts out of his head and looked over his brother, he seemed tense, the shuffling getting more and more the longer the silence went on, Yukio just shook his head at his brother, it was probably just one of those things he did now that Yukio wouldn't understand.

He started to close the door, Rin's face seemed crushed again but Yukio didn't think about it, he had papers to file and get to the headmaster before the day was up, he didn't have time to think about this. Before the door completely closed he heard Rin say one more thing that further confused him, "Goodbye."

It sounded final, Yukio closed the door completely and heard the click, he walked back over to the desk and continued sorting out everything but for some reason that goodbye stuck in his head, he heard the other teachers talking about something but it was all background noise. Why would Rin say goodbye? They would be seeing each other back at the dorm later anyway and it wasn't like Rin was stupid enough to run, seeing as the Vatican would hunt him down and make their lives a living hell.

He put the folders together and walked out of the teachers lounge, heading down the hallway, he couldn't get it out of his head, it was at the back, niggling and squirming, he tried to push it away with no success. Reaching the end door he pulled out the key to the headmasters office and put it in the lock, stepping through and walking over to the desk where the eccentric demon sat, "I have the papers, they are all signed and ready, we just need your signature to complete it."

Mephisto turned to him and smiled, "Oh, Okumara-kun, you finally got the signatures did you? Even your brothers?" Yukio stood up straight, he knew that Mephisto was trying to get under his skin, of course, Yukio knew what he was talking about, did Rin really just sign over his life? Did Rin not object and make a big scene about not letting anyone else sign it because then their lives would mean nothing? Of course, that's what the normal Rin would do, the Rin with friends, the Rin who would put his life on the line for anyone but this new Rin, he hadn't even twitched.

"Oh? So he did huh, that's interesting." Mephisto said, taking the folders from Yukio, Yukio saw him look them all over, for some reason Yukio felt twitchy, like he was meant to be somewhere but he couldn't remember anything on his schedule...what was this feeling? It was like his stomach was tied in knots, his palms were sweating and his heart kept jumping...something wasn't right...then Rin's goodbye came to mind...was something wrong?

Mephisto seemed to notice that he was restless and smiled, waving his hand for him to go, Yukio bowed before leaving the office with his key, he took it straight to his next appointment but even there he couldn't focus, Shura seemed to notice. He was suppose to be training with her to blow off some steam like he did everyday but he was distracted...something wasn't right...something wasn't right with Rin...

"Oi, if your not going to pay attention then just leave, you obviously want to be somewhere else." Shura said leaning on his shoulder, he pushed his glasses up his nose and nodded, he had somewhere he needed to be, something told him his brother needed him, his brother might do something stupid. Of course this feeling came sometimes lately but he had ignored it but this time it was so clear that he felt like something was going to happen now, "Sorry Shura, next time."

"Sure, just make sure next time you give me a challenge like you usually do, you were worse than Rin today." She said before going into the locker room, Yukio picked up his coat and slipped it on before going at a brisk walk to the dorms, he knew he had a key to get there straight away but something told him not to, something told him to walk outside. What was this feeling? Why was it there? Was something bad really going to happen?

His walk got faster, something telling him he needed to be there now, he passed students and teachers alike some of the girls tried to stop him to talk but he just gave them a smile and said that he would get to them later. Not that he would of course, he didn't like how girls flaunted themselves at him because of how smart he was, sometimes he wished he could be more like Rin in the popularity sense, of course that was before he had lost all his friends in cram school and everyone turned against him.

He was coming up to the dormitory now, he was only a little way away but he still felt the need to speed up more, if he did then he would be running so he held himself back, telling himself that he shouldn't run, it wouldn't be a big deal if he didn't. He turned the corner and saw the dormitory in sight, he slowed, okay, everything was fine, just calm down, Rin's probably inside cooking dinner with Ukobach with Kuro sitting down watching them like always.

Something moved. Looking up to the roof he saw a figure, who was that? It looked like Rin...what was he doing on the roof? Of course he knew he went up there sometimes to train with Kuro but he wouldn't do that with so many people around would he? Was that the bad feeling? That someone would see what Rin was doing? If so then Yukio would have to have a stern talk with him when he got there.

Rin fell.

He ran.

Make it. Make it. Make it. Make it. MAKE IT!

He didn't make it.

" **RIN**!"

No. Please no. No, not this. He skidded to a stop at his brother motionless body, there was so much blood, blood coming from his head, from his arm which was twisted the wrong way and from his leg that had been crushed under his chest...he looked so peaceful...why? why would he fall? Yukio knew he was going into shock, he had to do something before he lost himself, his medical side kicked in.

Call an ambulance. Don't move him. Check his pulse. Check if he's breathing. Put compression on his head. Hold it. Don't leave him. Yukio did all this in a haze, his body moving before he could even fully acknowledge what he was doing, his voice shook when he called the ambulance, he should have done it first but he had been too busy trying to stop the blood. So much blood.

" _Hello, what is your emergency_?" The female voice that answered his call was kind and calm, he sat there in shock for a moment, how could anyone be so calm? This was his brothers life on the line here, how could she be so calm? Distantly he knew he was in shock and tried to push his voice out from his throat as the woman said, " _Hello_?"

"My brother..." He found the words, "My brother, he jumped off our dormitory building, he's unconscious, he's bleeding, I think his arm and leg are broken, he's breathing but his pulse is weak, please, help him, I can't...I didn't...you need to help him please..." His words became broken as he started to sob, the woman on the other line became stern, she repeated everything he said to someone else before asking.

" _Where are you_?" Yukio looked around, where were they? His brain seemed to be fizzing out on him, he didn't know where they were, how could he tell this woman? He looked around for a sign and saw on top of the door a label saying 'Boys Dormitory'...right, they were at True Cross academy, the abandoned boys dormitory.

"We're at True Cross Academy, the abandoned boys dormitory, please...hurry..." His voice faltered at the end, he could hear how desperate he was, the woman repeated what he said to someone before she said something, he couldn't hear her though, his ears were ringing, he looked down at Rin, he was so pale...why was he so pale?

" _Sir_... _your name_... _listen_... _in shock_..." He heard her talk to him and then someone else but couldn't really hear, his body was shaking, he dropped the phone and stared at his brother...why had he done it? What had made him do it? The last words Rin spoke to him echoed through his head, ' _Nothing, just wanted to say thanks_.' Thanks for what?

' _Goodbye_.'

Distantly Yukio heard a siren, it seemed to be coming closer but he was too absorbed at looking at Rin, the way his body was angled, the blood, how pale his normally healthy cheeks were, how he could have missed it. How could he have missed it? How could he have not known? He should have run, something told him to run, he should have run. The sound of doors slamming snapped him out of his thoughts and three men came over, two of them went to Rin and the third came to him.

It was all a blur after that, he remembered them talking, them putting a blanket on him, lifting Rin up onto a stretcher with some kind of thing around his neck and a face mask to help him breath, they were both put in the back of the ambulance. Yukio watched the men work on Rin trying to keep him alive and then reality hit Yukio, his brother might die...he might never hear Rin's voice again, taste his cooking, laugh with him, fight with him...it might all be taken away from him forever...

"What's your names?" Yukio snapped out of it and saw one of the men sitting in front of him, his blue eyes were kind and reminded him so much of Rin's eyes that he felt a stinging, would he see Rin's eyes again? Would they open? Would they shine with happiness? Darken with anger? Would they look at him ever again?

"I'm Yukio Okumara and my brother is Rin Okumara." Yukio said in an emotionless voice, the man smiled at him and wrote something down on paper before going back to his partner and continued to work on Rin, what would happen? So many thoughts went through his head and the stinging he felt turned into tears, he sobbed into his hand as he held his head, what could he do? He should have done something, should have said something.

They made it to the hospital and Rin was rushed off somewhere, Yukio was held behind and found himself in the A&E on a bed, a nurse came in and covered him with blankets as he was laid down. She told him to sleep but how was he suppose to sleep? His body was too numb, his heart beating too fast, his mind too frazzled, his eyes too clouded with tears, how was he suppose to sleep now? With his twin so far away from him...

...

...

...

He woke up sometime later, his body felt heavy and his mind jumbled, he opened his eyes to see a nurse sitting next to him, she was looking over some papers with a frown. He sat up and she looked up at him with a jump before smiling, she stood and came over to him, "Okay, Yukio Okumara right? Well, I'm going to need to do some tests now that your awake, okay?"

"What happened to my brother?" Yukio asked, he needed to know, the nurses face fell a little before she smiled again, she went round the room and collected equipment for the tests she was going to run before speaking, "I will tell you about your brother once I've done the tests okay, then you can go see him but first we need to know that your alright, okay?"

Yukio nodded, he let her do the tests from temperature and blood pressure to a blood test, once it was all done Yukio looked to her expectantly, she smiled and sat down across from him, "Now, I have some good news and bad news for you, the good news is that your brothers alive, he's been stabilised and his bones set so they should heal fine, he had to have an operation on his head but everything went smoothly, he is now resting in room 203 on the fourth floor, Dolphin ward."

He sighed in relief, his brother was alive, it was everything he could have hoped for, Rin was going to be okay, he was breathing, he was living, they could get through this, it was going to be okay but then just as he thought this he remembered that the nurse had said that there was bad news...he looked up at her and she sighed before leaning forward and saying, "The bad news is your brother is in a coma, I have to be honest and tell you we don't know when he might wake up or even if he might wake up, unfortunately its too soon to tell."

His breath caught, Rin was in a coma? A coma? But he would wake up right? People come out of coma's all the time don't they? It would be fine, so what if he was in a coma for a week or two? He would wake up and smile his goofy smile and everything would be alright, things would work out, he was alive after all, it would be fine...everything would be fine...

Of course, nothing had been fine, they had forgot to tell him Rin was on life support or rather they hadn't wanted to, when he had walked into Rin's room he had cried at the sight of his brother, wired up, tube down his throat, the heart monitor beeping at a steady but slow pace...that was when his hope had been chipped away a bit, he had sat down and held his brothers hand for what seemed like forever.

That was six months ago.

He remembered leaving the hospital a week later, going to the class and telling everyone what happened...their reactions hadn't mattered to him, he could only think of his brother, he had then gone to Mephisto and booked time off, as much time as was needed for Rin to wake up. He then came to live at the hospital with his brother, he ate when he got told to, he washed when he got told to and only looked after himself when the nurses said that if he didn't then he would be given a bed as well.

Shiemi had been by sometimes, like she had told him that she was going to be here today, he knew she was worried, he knew she wanted to help him but didn't know how just like she had felt with Rin. It was driving her crazy with worry and sometimes when she turned up she would spend the whole time in tears...he didn't know how to help her either.

He walked back into Rin's room, thinking over what the doctors had said, they wanted to take Rin off life support, of course they had been telling him this since the forth month but Yukio didn't care that keeping him alive was draining his money, his brother wouldn't have given up on him, he wouldn't give up on Rin...he sat down in his usual seat and started talking, "Rin?"

No reply. Of course, he didn't expect one anymore, most of his hope had been taken away little by little every day that Rin didn't wake up, he had so many questions, he had said them all but he wasn't even sure that Rin could hear him, the doctors didn't know either. One question he repeated every day...the one question that burned inside him, the one that always slipped out of his mouth before he knew it had been asked.

"Why?" He asked again, then he remembered everything he had found out, every look, every spiteful word, everything and he scoffed before saying, "I know why...I just...didn't think it was that bad...well, I did but I thought you were okay...your words...your last words to me...thank you...goodbye...I should have known something was wrong...I just thought you were being your normal self but...when I think about it you hadn't been your normal self for a while before that had you?"

"Yukio?" Shiemi's voice came from the door way and Yukio looked up in surprise, her visit was a little earlier than usual, she had tears in her eyes and he knew she had heard what he had said, her next words confirmed it, "Are you still talking to him? You know it's been six months...they say...he probably won't wake up but..."

"I'm not giving up on him." Yukio said a bit more harshly than he intended and Shiemi's face took on a panicked look as she started to stutter, Yukio sighed before standing and walking over to Rin, "I know you don't mean it that way it's just...I can't give up on him, if our situation was the other way around he wouldn't give up on me, I love him, I've lost too many people, I didn't think I would count him as one...I never want to count him as one..."

"I know Yukio...will you at least eat something? You haven't been eating for a couple of weeks now, you need to have some strength for..." Shiemi trailed off and shuffled her feet, Yukio took Rin's hand into his own, he knew he needed to eat, if he didn't the nurses would really give him that bed they kept threatening him with but he didn't want to miss a moment with Rin, he didn't want him to wake up without him there.

Twitch.

Rin's hand moved...it was a small movement and it made Yukio's breath catch, he looked down at the hand in his own in shock...it couldn't be could it? but moments later Rin groaned only it ended in a chock and Rin's other hand moved to hit throat. Yukio reached out and stopped the hand, leaning over he pressed the buzzer, his heart pounding in his chest with hope, "Nii-san, calm down, please, open your eyes, please open your eyes."

He begged with Rin, he saw his brothers eyes screw shut as he continued to choke, his body was wriggling and Yukio hung onto every moment before the nurses and doctor came rushing in, they moved quickly and pinned Rin down to the bed before the doctor spoke to him in a rushed voice, "Do you know if he's awake or seizing?"

"I don't know, I tried to get him to open his eyes but he didn't." Yukio said back feeling adrenaline pump through him, Rin was moving, he could be awake, the doctor told the nurses to take the tube out and Yukio watched as they took it out of his throat, not even feeling sick from the look of it he just wanted to know if his brother was really awake. Please be awake. Rin coughed, Yukio took his place back at his brothers side and stroked his hair gently, then, those too blue eyes opened, he was awake, Yukio felt his face stretch into a huge smile but didn't care, his brother was awake! Rin was awake! He could barely believe it and cried out, "He's awake!"

He saw Rin look around at the people surrounding him, a confused look on his face which darkened a bit and Yukio knew what he was thinking, how was he alive? Rin tried to sit up but the doctor pushed him back down, he saw Rin look into the doctors eyes with a bit of glaze as though he was distracted by something before the doctor spoke, "Don't try to get up yet Rin, just relax, can you follow my finger for me?"

Yukio watched the doctor wave his finger up and down, side to side in front of Rin and felt a huge relief when his brothers blue eyes followed it steadily, the flashlight showed that his pupils were reacting normally, Yukio let out a breath that he didn't know he had been holding as the doctor said, "Well, your fine, you gave us all quite a scare there, you've been in a coma for six months so your going to be weak for a while but I think your going to make a good recovery don't you?"

Rin didn't say anything, that dark look crossed his face again and Yukio shared a look with the doctor, knowing that the doctor would leave this to him but if Rin showed any signs of doing this again then he would have to be hospitalised, the doctor gave him a subtle nod before saying, "I'm going to leave for now, though we're going to keep an eye on you while you recover, you won't be leaving for a while so get comfortable."

The doctor and nurses left, leaving Yukio alone with Rin and Shiemi who at a look from him stuttered a goodbye before leaving, it was dead silent. Yukio leaned over and brushed some hair out of Rin's face before sighing, he knew he had to start this conversation, Rin wouldn't and said, "I...I know why you did it Nii-san, I know but...I just...I want to know...how long had you been thinking about it?...why did you keep it a secret?...I want to know...please, just tell me everything...please..."

Rin looked at him and Yukio could feel his eyes sting with tears but wouldn't let them fall and tried to show Rin through his expression that he understood, that he knew why, he just needed his brother to tell him, Rin closed his eyes and tried to speak, his voice was raspy and cracked so Yukio picked up his plastic cup and helped Rin have some of the water to help before lying him down again and gesturing for him to speak and Rin did.

He told him everything.

From start to finish Yukio listened, he didn't speak not wanting to interrupt Rin, he just sat down in his chair and held his brothers hand as he spoke about what people had said to him, what he thought of himself, what he thought everyone else thought, how he had planned everything and from the first time he thought about ending it to the last. Then he spoke about his last day, what had finally broke him and the words that did it, Yukio watched Rin through this, helping him drink when his voice cracked too much and by the end of it Yukio's heart was so heavy it hurt.

"You know...I was the one who found you, I saw you fall, I saw you hit the ground, I called the ambulance, I sat with you all these months...I thought about a lot of things and said a lot of things to you that I'm not sure if you heard or not..." Yukio said before his voice faltered and he broke off, the flash images of Rin's unmoving body went across his mind and he couldn't talk about it anymore so he moved on, "I told everyone what happened, I stayed with you, I didn't let them take you off life support when they wanted too because they didn't think you would wake up...I..."

He felt tears running down his face and put his head in his hands, he felt arms come around him and knew Rin was trying to comfort him, Yukio gripped onto his brother for dear life, feeling his heartbeat, hearing him breathing, feeling the strength in the arms around him but Yukio couldn't let Rin do too much and pulled away before saying, "I thought about what I would say to you when you woke up, I thought about how angry I would be, how I would shout and tell you how stupid it was but the more I thought about it the more I understood and now your awake I don't feel angry, I just feel relieved that your awake, that your here with me again...that I still have you."

Rin looked conflicted, like he had too much to say and didn't know what to say first but in the end he just shook his head and smiled, Yukio felt relieved, he thought that Rin would yell or cry or even try to run but he didn't he just layed back down and curled onto his side obviously concious of the drip in his hand before looking up to him and saying, "You know...I don't blame you...I used to before I woke up, I thought you hated me like everyone else but...you stayed with me, you kept me alive and didn't give up on me when everyone else did...you..still love me right?"

"Yes, of course." Yukio said without hesitation, he didn't want Rin to question it anymore, he leaned forward and started to brush Rin's hair through his fingers, Rin smiled and leaned into his hand a content look on his face, Yukio remembered when they were younger, how he had always had a facination with Rin's hair because even though they were twins it was so different from his own. Rin sighed, Yukio watched his face, it was the most peaceful he had seen his brother in what seemed like forever before Rin opened his eyes and said, "Then that's enough for me."

Yukio felt his smile widen again feeling relieved, they stayed there in silence for a moment before Yukio spoke again knowing that Rin would question it later, "I...I told the others what happened...they all reacted in their own way, Shiemi cried you know, she's been visiting you every week, she talked to you too, you missed her apologies, though she will probably tell you herself when she comes back."

Rin's face which had fallen lifted up into a smile before frowning again, he seemed to be deep in thought and Yukio worried for a moment that he had said something wrong before Rin spoke, "I'm sorry." Yukio raised his eyebrows in shock, Rin continued, "I was in such a dark place...I couldn't see the people that cared...I didn't think anyone would miss me, I thought it would be easier for everyone if I was gone."

"I know." Yukio said, he had known, after being able to think about things for a while he had come to that conclusion, he leaned forward and kissed Rin's head which caused his brothers face to flush, he smiled, he knew he hadn't been this affectionate since thier father died and had regretted it so he would make up for it now, he frowned "Nii-san...you know...you know that things are going to be hard...some people...they won't like you for who you are, what you are but...I will always be here for you, I promice, I will stick up for you when you can't do it yourself and I will always be a person you can trust and lean on."

"Thank you Yukio, for everything." Rin said as he closed his eyes and yawned, Yukio chuckled at the childish way he did it and Rin smiled, Yukio continued to brush his hair with his fingers, he knew that things would be hard but hopefully he would be there next time that things got bad, no, he definatly would be, he wouldn't let his professional life stop him from being there for his brother but for now he would help Rin heal.

His brother was awake and that was enough.

* * *

Nicciomimi96: Aaaaaaaaand done! Whew! That was harder than I thought it was going to be, I hope you liked Yukio's point of view, I'm thinking about doing some more so don't forget to Review to tell me what you think and if I'm going to do more who you want to show up! xxx


	3. Bon

Name?: The Fall

Summary?: Rin saw no way out, he couldn't run, the Vatican would kill him, he didn't want to be killed, not by someone else, no, he was going to die by his own hand.

Rating?: M

Pairings?: None but Yukio x Rin if you want to see it that way (not that I blame you XD)

Warning?: Attempted Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Coma, Bullying, Death Threats, Major Angst, Isolation, Loss of Friends, Life Support and Medical Tests (also tube down throat and removal scene), Needles, mention of Seizures, Happy Ending, Swearing.

Nicciomimi96: Okay, I'm so sorry for all of you who have had to wait for this for so long but I kind of lost my groove for the story a while back but hopefully the chapter was good and this is the final chapter I am doing.

* * *

" _Fucking Demon._ "

" _He deserves to die._ "

" _I can't stand being in the same class as him._ "

" _He shouldn't even be here._ "

" _I can't wait until someone kills him._ "

" _Leave us alone demon!_ "

" _You don't deserve to live._ "

" _Your trouble to everyone._ "

" _End your life and make everyone happier._ "

Bon had said all these things, behind Rin's back and to his face but he didn't care why should he? Rin was the one in the wrong, he shouldn't even be alive, everything about him was wrong and he was only making sure that the blue haired demon knew this. It was just what everyone was thinking, it's not like demons had feeling anyway.

However, his whole world was tipped on its head when one day Yukio came into the classroom, everything about their teachers appearance was stressed, messy and exhausted. It was his next words that broke Bon out of his angered thoughts of Rin making his own brother that way because it couldn't be anyone else, "Rin's in a coma, he's in the Exorcist hospital on life support, yesterday, he tried to take his own life, no one knows when he is going to wake up or if he ever will."

There was dead silence in the room, Bon felt like he had been punched in the chest, he didn't know what to think, he had never heard of a demon trying to take their own life before, it just wasn't in their nature to do something like this. However humans did it all the time, when pain and anguish got to them they took that step towards their death but Rin wasn't human…but he was half-human...

That fact seemed to have been forgotten until now and Bon felt his heart sink, he looked around the room at everyone's horrified faces, Sheimi was sobbing into her hands and Yukio seemed out of it, Izumo seemed shocked before she turned her face away. Konekomaru seemed horrified before looking down at his hands, Shima seemed to take it the worst, his guilt ridden face looking out the window and Bon knew he was crying.

Bon looked down and thought of everything he had said to Rin, just yesterday he had said that he would kill him while on the trip, it had seemed the right thing to say and do before this but now he wasn't so sure. He felt guilt rise up inside him and no matter how much he tried to push it down it lingered as everything he had done rose in his mind and he was forced to face the fact that he had been the main one to push Rin to do this.

Yukio left after that, seeming to want to stay by Rin's side and Bon looked away, so much was going on inside him, one side said that Rin deserved what he got but another side said that he had been wrong and pushed someone as bright as Rin had been to suicide. He sighed and looked up at everyone, Izumo took this time to speak and said, "I'm half demon myself, yet no one bats an eyelid at me and yet you all thought that Rin was some monster, you're the monsters."

She stood and walked out of the classroom, Bon watched her go as her words struck him inside, was that true? That Rin, though a half-demon who shared the blood and fires of Satan had been less of a monster than Bon himself? It seemed right thinking that, he thought over everything Rin had done for them, saving them, putting his own life on the line and being a good friend before all of this, a good competition.

Rin had said that he himself wanted to kill Satan, something about Satan killing him real dad and ruining his life, however Satan hadn't been the monster to push him to killing himself, it had been Bon, it had been everyone in the class. He looked to Sheimi who stood and ran out of the classroom, she seemed to be taking this the hardest and that left Bon, Shima and Konekomaru who sat in silence for a while.

"You know…I wanted to be friends with him, I just…I followed you when I shouldn't have, now this." Shima said and Bon looked to his childhood friend and saw his eyes were red but no tears were falling down his face. Konekomaru shuddered before saying, "But he's the son of Satan, the one who killed people during the Blue Night, he's a monster, he's just as bad as Satan and he can't control himself."

"Is that really true?" Shima said with a hard voice and Konekomaru flinched, looking up at the pink haired boy as Shima continued, "He's the son of Satan sure but does that change the fact that he was brought up human? Does that change the fact that he was once our friend, our friend who saved us from a demon king and almost died?"

"But…" Konekomaru said but seemed to be stumped for words, Bon looked to him and noted the scared look on the boy's face, Shima scoffed before saying, "Hold on to your prejudice all you want but if he survives this I'm going to do what I should have done all along, I'm going to be his friend if he will take me and I won't let you two bully him any longer, if you're scared or angry keep it to yourselves, if you can't change then I'm done."

Shima stood and walked out of the room, Bon watched him go with a numb feeling, he had just lost a friend…no, he was going to lose a friend if he didn't change his ways but some part inside him still told him he had done the right thing. Rin was Satan's son, though he had been brought up human what did it matter? That he had acted like a human and…Bon shook his head of those thoughts, the more he thought about Rin and who he really was the more what he had done didn't seem fair.

He looked to Konekomaru and knew that he was the only one on his side, who thought that Rin should be dead, that he shouldn't be allowed anywhere near humans and wished he would disappear. However Konekomaru said, "Do you think we did it? Pushed him to this?"

Bon didn't know what to say, he could say no and bring up some excuses about how Rin had always been this way but that would be a lie and not a very good one as everyone remembered how Rin used to be. He sighed and leaned back in his chair before saying, "Yeah, I think we did but it doesn't matter, he's not human and I would have killed him anyway, this is just him taking control and not letting himself be killed by anyone else, his pride mostly did this."

"That's…" Konekomaru looked to him with wide eyes and said, "You…you don't care? We did this, it wasn't his pride, Rin isn't the type to do this, he was always to happy and nice, then we found out what he is and we turned on him even though he was such a good friend, he's going to die because of us, how can you not feel guilty?"

"Says the person who used to quiver and shudder in fear every time they were anywhere near him, the one who has nightmares of him going out of control and burning everything, you should be happy now." Bon bit back and immediately regretted it when he saw his friends face, Konekomaru said, "Yeah, maybe I should be happy, if he really did all those things but he didn't, he didn't do anything wrong and I blamed him for what his father did even though he didn't even like his own father, I judged and was scared but that doesn't make me feel good about this."

"If he dies, if after everything he's gone…I won't be able to live with myself." Konekomaru said, tears falling from his eyes as he squeezed them shut and shook his head, Bon frowned and looked to the door, he wanted to leave, he needed to clear his head. He stood and walked out of the room, why couldn't everything just be simple, like he thought it had been, he thought that Rin was exactly like Satan and so should be put down but now…now he knew that Rin was Rin, someone who was the polar opposite of Satan…someone who had been pushed to the edge.

Then his mind went to the fact that Rin could die, any moment now, where would he go if he was to die? Would he go to the realm that Satan ruled over and be tortured for the rest of eternity or would he go to a nice place, would he be happy? Bon stopped and put his head against the wall, he felt so out of control, so confused, he didn't know what to think anymore and slowly made his way out into the fresh air and walked for what seemed like hours trapped in his thoughts.

That had been six months ago.

Bon had been thinking in that time, even though he had thrown himself into work and tried to ignore the feelings inside him he found himself wandering over to the Hospital, he hadn't been here before and didn't know why he was there now. At the desk he asked for Rin's door number and walked there feeling like he was walking to his execution, knowing that maybe Yukio was there, he probably was but didn't let himself think too much and spotted the door.

He found his stride slowing and he came to a stop meters from the door, he didn't know why he was doing this, what he was going to say or even if he would say anything but he needed to see what damage he had caused. He took a deep breath and walked closer to the door, he stopped outside and reached for the handle, he opened the door slowly, he was afraid of what he was going to see inside…

The first thing he noticed was Yukio, he froze for a moment but seeing the slow up and down of his sensei's chest indicated that he was asleep, which was good, he didn't want a fight and knew if the other boy was awake he would get one. The second thing he noticed was the bed, white crisp sheets covering a figure, the slow beeping of a heart machine was filling the room along with harsh breathing through a tube.

He walked around the bed to the head poking out of the sheets, he had never seen Rin this pale, this…he didn't want to say the word, Rin was like this because of him, because of his words which seemed right at the time. Seeing him now, he wondered how anything he had said could have been right, Rin's eyes were closed and could be closed forever because of his own anger and resentment of Satan.

He had been convinced that Rin was like Satan, evil to the done, a demon who shouldn't have even been born but now, now he saw his friend, the friend he had gotten to know months previous, the one who had always smiled and laughed. He was close to death and Bon had forced him to it, he had said he would kill him and Rin had tried to do it himself instead…he wondered how much pain someone had to be in to do this.

Pain…an emotion, something which he didn't think Rin had been capable of, he thought all those months had been a lie to twist things in Rin's favour because that is what a demon did, they got close to you and then ripped your life apart. Now…now he knew all those months had been the truth, Rin had just wanted friends and he would have died for them, now he was dying because of them, fate was cruel but not as much as people and Bon was one of those people.

He couldn't look anymore, he turned his eyes away and looked to Yukio who was slumped in the hospital chair, it looked like his sensei hadn't had a decent night's sleep since this had happened and was probably right. How could he have done this? It was eating him up inside, he had thought he was right, justified in what he had done and said but…it was all wrong, he had pushed a friend to the edge, someone who just wanted to be close to him and others.

He knew he wasn't the only one to blame but he knew he was the centre of that blame, if Rin woke up, he knew that the teen would accept his apology but that would just be because of Rin's character, he was forgiving. Would they ever be friends again? No, he knew they wouldn't, not as they had been before, he had broken Rin and that would forever be true, that would haunt him his whole life, forgiveness or not.

Sighing he turned towards the door and walked out of the room, he stopped outside and closed the door, he leaned against it and felt his eyes sting but he wouldn't cry, it wasn't his place to cry here over something he had caused. He rubbed his eyes and looked to the ground, footsteps stopped next to him and he looked up to see Sheimi, she was looking at him with shocked eyes as she said, "Suguro-kun? What are you doing here?"

"Nothing." He said and stood from his slumped position against the door, he turned and walked away, he knew she would tell Yukio he had been there but that didn't bother him, his chest felt heavy and his legs weak as he walked out of the hospital. He looked to the sky to see a clear sunny day, he felt angry that the world could be moving and people could be laughing when something like this had happened.

He turned to the wall and punched it hard, his knuckles scraped and began to bleed and the bones hurt but he didn't mind, he needed it, he needed to punish himself for what he had done, it was the least he could do. He straightened up and let out a breath before walking away from the hospital and back to the school, he didn't know if he could face anyone right now but he needed to do something other than feel like this.

For over a month nothing happened, no news about Rin, Yukio had stopped teaching their classes and they had Shura instead, they went on the trip which had been set up and it had gone smoothly which irritated Bon. He knew that Rin would have wanted to come, he would have wanted to show off his strength and skill with a sword but he was in hospital, in a coma and might never wake up, it made the trip sour for all of them.

Since his visit at the hospital he had thrown himself into school work, all his teachers were impressed with his scores, the level of his homework and even the extra assignments he had asked for but nothing helped. His mind always wandered to Rin during the night when everything was quiet, when he dreamed it was of Rin never coming back, he woke up in a cold sweat each time and couldn't get the funeral he saw in his dreams out of his head.

He walked into the classroom the next day after that dream and sat in his usual spot, Konekomaru and Shima both sat down with him, his stress and guilt must have been visible seeming as Shima was still talking to him. He sighed and leaned back in his chair trying to relax, something he hadn't been able to do since the news but it didn't hurt to keep trying, the bell rang and they waited for Shura to come through the door but she didn't.

Bon's stomach dropped, something was going on, something was wrong, Shura should have been here on time, she always was, the dream rose in his mind and he clenched his fists on his lap, he hoped it wouldn't be true. Shura came rushing through the door moments later and Bon felt the tension ease at the smile on her face, Bon felt his stomach rise to his throat as she said, "Rin's awake."

The whole classroom became silent, he hadn't noticed that people had been whispering before, Shura sighed as though in relief and said, "I know you all want to know how he is but all I can tell you is that he's awake and talking, Yukio called me just now and I know some of you might want to visit him but know he's in a fragile state right now and he doesn't need any more stress, if you're going, go with good intent."

Shura looked straight at Bon when she said this and he felt his stomach roll in nerves, Rin was awake and alive, that was a good thing but Bon knew if he visited then something had to be said about how he had behaved. He couldn't go in there and act like nothing was wrong but also knew that he had to visit to see Rin awake and alive for himself, he needed to go there with an apology, something which would change the guilt inside.

For the rest of the day he didn't pay attention in his classes, instead he roamed over the words that he could say to Rin to make things better, even just a little bit, once school was over he found himself wandering over to the hospital. He stood outside the double doors which led inside and noticed his heart was beating fast, his palms were sweating and his breathing was hitching, he was panicking and he knew why but he couldn't back out of this.

He walked forward and the doors slid open as the sensor noticed his movement, he walked inside and passed the desk, he knew where he was heading, he had only been there once but remembered the way easily. He walked through the halls and thought about what he was going to say, he had an idea but he didn't know where to go with it, he spotted the door he was heading towards and his legs felt like led.

Stopping outside the door there was silence inside, it seemed that Yukio had stepped out for a minute, he almost hoped that Rin wasn't in the room anymore but when he reached up and pushed it open he saw a figure sitting up on the bed. Rin looked pale still but he was awake, he was looking out the window to the side and Bon felt his heart lurch forward when those blue eyes turned to him, "I thought you were talking to the doc-"

Rin's words cut off as he recognised Bon for who he was, those eyes widened slightly and darkened with some emotion, Bon walked in and left the door open, if Rin wanted to leave he wouldn't be stopping him. Bon looked to the chair next to the bed and wondered if he should sit down but immediately decided against it as his nerves made him restless and he walked over to the window instead before leaning against the frame.

The cool air of outside was softly breezing into the room and cooled his heated face pleasantly, Rin was still watching him, he locked eyes with the teen who only a few months ago he said he was going to kill. His stomach rolled and he looked down, he didn't know what to say, how was anything he said going to make things better, Rin however was the one to break the silence and Bon almost jumped when he did, "Why are you here?"

Why was he here? Did the teen not know? He guessed Rin wasn't expecting an apology of any sort, he might even take this as the wrong message and think that Bon was here to cause him more pain, something which wouldn't be out of character of who he had been. Bon took a deep shaking breath and said, "I…I came here to apologise for what I did, for what I said, I didn't know…I didn't know that you weren't…"

"A demon?" Rin asked and his voice was low, that wasn't a good sign, he looked up to the blue eyes and noticed that Rin was watching him with something he couldn't name again it made Bon's heart hurt. It was not the look he had gotten before all of this, the look he was getting now was dark and distrusting and it hurt to know he had been the one to put it there, Rin spoke, "Look, you might have recited an apology but…I don't need it."

Bon felt shock go through him, he didn't need it? Did that mean that he would never be forgiven? He understood if that was the truth but stopped thinking when Rin said, "I know why you did what you did, I get it, you wanted to protect your friends from a threat and to be honest I know I'm a threat to everyone who wants to become or is an exorcist and even everyday people but more so the exorcists because they all know about me now, there is no hiding and to be honest…I'm just tired of it."

Rin did look tired, his eyes were shadowed by his hair which made it hard to know what the boy was thinking or feeling, Bon knew this was his moment, he had to say something now or everything would have been for nothing. He cleared his throat and said, "Look, I did see you as a threat but only because I thought of you as just a demon, it was stupid of me because I didn't listen when people said you were also half-human."

"I was scared, I didn't want what had happened in the past on the blue night to happen again and I let my anger and resentment of Satan cloud my judgement." Bon said softly and Rin looked up at him through his bangs. Bon continued, "I understand now that your different, I…I'm sorry for being such a bad friend, I'm sorry I turned against you only for who you were born from which you had no say over, I dismissed all those months of friendship because I was too stubborn and stupid."

"Stop." Rin said and Bon winced before looking down, he knew he was going to get rejected now and knew he deserved it, Rin was such a bright light and he had broken him, he had taken the light and smashed it beyond repair. Rin sighed and said, "I'm not going to forgive you but…well, I liked being your friend when we were okay, it was the happiest I had ever been…having friends, I never had them before…"

It broke Bon's heart as Rin's voice wavered as he said it, he hadn't known that Rin hadn't had friends before…but would that have changed anything? No, probably not and they both knew it, it was a cold hard truth. Rin threw back the covers and sat on the edge of the bed facing Bon, Bon didn't look up and waited, Rin said, "I…I guess if things were different, then we could be friends…I…I know we cant make things different but..."

Bon looked up at those words and saw Rin smiling at him, it was a soft smile and had some pain behind it, Bon knew what he meant by making things different, how could they possibly make things different? Rin chuckled and said, "I'm…well, soon I'm going to be out of the hospital, I have no lasting damage so it's looking good, when I'm out…I won't be coming back to classes for a while seeming as Yukio is determined to keep an eye on me."

"What I'm saying is…maybe, during the time I'm not going to classes we could…I don't know, meet up and have lunch sometimes, maybe you could even help me study…I'm not saying we might be friends again like we were but what could it hurt to try?" Rin said and Bon felt something ease inside him, he said, "So…your okay? I mean, what I did…I don't think I would have been able to look past it if it had been done to me…"

"I'm not saying I'm looking past it, I will probably always be on guard around you but I'm asking if maybe you want to get to know each other again and try and build something through that, outside of exorcism and me being half-demon." Rin said and Bon felt his stomach clench and his eyes sting, he knew that Rin was being too forgiving about this, like he had thought he would be, he said, "You don't have to, I know I hurt you more than-"

"No, it wasn't just you, that's my point, you might have been one of the worst ones but everyone was partly to blame." Rin said and Bon looked to him again and saw the dark look on his face, Bon didn't want him to look like that, it was the same look he used to have before he tried to commit suicide. He didn't know how to make things better but knew accepting Rin's offer might be a start and so said, "Okay, I guess we can try and if it doesn't work out because it's too much I won't blame you."

"Thank you." Rin sighed and seemed to relax before holding out his hand, Bon looked at it for a moment before reaching out his own and grasping it, Rin smiled and shook their hands, Bon felt his heart give a lurch. It was so simple, more so than he had thought it would be as Rin said, "I'm Rin Okumura, I like Manga and cooking, my favourite food is Sukiyaki and I am training myself to become strong enough to be someone who can protect my friends and family."

"My real name is Ryuji Suguro, I come from Kyoto and I like studying, running and hanging out with my friends, my goal is to help others and make sure no more tragedy like a certain night happens again." Bon said and Rin's eyes lit up when he had told him his true name, he had been hoping it would be a good thing and could be something they could talk about as a start, why he had changed his name for school and left his true name behind.

"I better go before Yukio comes." Bon said suddenly thinking of the time they had consumed talking, Rin nodded in understanding and Bon walked over to the door before stopping, he turned back and looked at Rin. He had to say something, he couldn't not tell him about everyone else, Bon said, "I hope you can get better soon, it's not been the same without you there, I'm not the only one who wants to sort things out."

"Well, hopefully I will see them soon." Rin beamed and Bon smiled before opening the door and walking out into the hall, he closed the door before leaning against it with a sigh, he was glad things had gone well. The guilt inside him was still there but had been soothed and he smiled slightly, he turned towards the door a felt his heart lurch into his throat as he froze, leaning against the wall staring at him was Yukio.

"I hope you understand something." Yukio said, his eyes like ice, Bon didn't know what to do, here he was with the one person he had been hoping not to run into and now there they were in the hall, he was just glad there were witnesses. Yukio seemed to notice this and smirked, Bon felt his stomach knot and gulped down his fear as Yukio stood straight and said, "If you hurt my brother again, no one will ever find you."

Bon nodded and Yukio smiled more normally before he walked past Bon and opened the door before going inside, Bon could hear the brothers speaking in light tones and felt his tension leave, he knew this was his last chance. He walked away from the door and to the outside, he stopped outside and leaned against the wall, he had one more chance at his friendship with Rin and he was not going to waste it.

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Nicciomimi96: Hope you liked it and hope you have a good day! please review and tell me what you thought.


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